10 Tips for Discussing Mental Health with Children

Talking to kids about mental health is crucial but can be challenging. Here's how to do it effectively:

Create a comfortable space
Use age-appropriate language
Listen actively and validate feelings
Share your own experiences
Normalize mental health discussions
Encourage questions
Make conversations fun and engaging
Teach stress management techniques
Recognize warning signs
Maintain ongoing dialogue as kids grow

Key benefits:

Helps children understand emotions
Reduces mental health stigma
Encourages seeking help when needed

Age	Language to Use	Approach
3-5	Basic emotions (happy, sad)	Use pictures, simple explanations
6-12	"Mind health"	Compare to physical health, allow questions
13-17	Specific terms (anxiety, depression)	Use real-life examples, be open to discussions

Remember: Start early, keep it simple, and make mental health talks a regular part of family life.

1. Make a comfortable space to talk

Want your kids to open up about mental health? Create a safe, comfy environment. Here's how:

Pick the right moment

Timing matters. Don't bring up mental health during stressful times. Instead, choose calm moments when everyone's in a good mood. Think:

Relaxed family dinners
Walks together
Quiet car rides

Create a judgment-free zone

Kids open up when they feel safe from criticism. So:

Listen without interrupting
Don't get defensive
Show empathy: "I get why you'd feel that way"

Use activities to ease into conversations

Do things your kid enjoys. It'll make them more comfortable. Try:

Playing board games
Cooking together
Drawing side by side

Start early and keep it regular

Jennifer Vallin, a clinical psychologist, says:

"Everyone has mental health, including infants. Those early interactions are our kids' first mental health conversations."

Make these talks a family habit. It'll normalize the topic.

Match your child's age

Use simple words for young kids: happy, sad, mad, worried. As they grow, introduce more complex ideas.

Create a physical safe space

Set up a spot where your kid can process big feelings. Make it:

Quiet
Softly lit
Comfy (cushions, blankets, stuffed animals)

Follow up and validate feelings

After your kid uses the safe space or opens up, check in. Validate their emotions and help plan for the future.

2. Use words kids can understand

Kids need simple words for mental health. Here's how to explain it at different ages:

Preschoolers (3-5 years)

Stick to basic feelings:

Happy
Sad
Mad
Worried

Use pictures to show emotions. Teach easy tricks like big breaths.

School-age children (6-12 years)

Now you can explain a bit more. Try this:

"We take care of our bodies AND our minds."

Tell them all feelings are okay. Let them ask questions.

Teenagers (13-17 years)

Teens get tougher ideas. Use examples from their life. Be ready for specific questions.

Age	Words to Use	How to Explain
3-5	Happy, Sad	"Sometimes our mind feels happy, sometimes sad."
6-12	Mind health	"Taking care of our mind is like brushing teeth."
13-17	Anxiety	"It's when worry thoughts keep coming back."

Make mental health normal to talk about. Use everyday stuff to explain feelings.

Melissa Barry, a therapist, says:

"Break down big words. Use simple terms kids get."

Instead of "depression", say "feeling very sad for a long time."

As kids grow, slowly add harder ideas. Always check if they get it by asking them to explain it back.

3. Listen well and accept feelings

Listening is crucial when discussing mental health with kids. It shows they matter. Here's how to do it right:

Give full attention

Put away distractions. Sit at your child's level. Show you're ready to listen.

"Validation shows that we are listening, that we understand, that we are not there to judge and that we care about them." - Dr. Vicky Bouche, pediatric psychologist at CHOC

Use body language

Make eye contact. Nod as they speak. These small actions show you're engaged.

Let them finish

Don't interrupt. Wait for your child to finish before responding.

Reflect their words

Repeat what you heard. It shows you're listening and clears up misunderstandings.

Example: "So you're sad about not making the team. Is that right?"

Accept all feelings

Tell your child it's okay to feel however they feel. Don't try to change their emotions.

"Your accepting presence is powerful." - Jessica Stern, child psychologist

Ask open questions

Use questions that can't be answered with just "yes" or "no". It helps your child share more.

Examples:

"How did that make you feel?"
"What do you think about that?"

Offer support

Ask how you can help. Sometimes kids just want to be heard. Other times, they may want help solving a problem.

Try saying: "What can I do? Want me to listen or help problem-solve?"

Talking about your mental health can help your kids feel more comfortable discussing their feelings. It shows them that everyone has ups and downs.

Here's how to do it right:

Be honest, but keep it simple

Tell your kids about times you've felt worried or sad. Use words they get. For example:

"Sometimes, I get nervous before big work meetings. My heart races, and my hands get sweaty."

Show them how you deal

Share your coping tricks. This gives your kids ideas for handling their own feelings. You could say:

"When I'm nervous, I take deep breaths or go for a walk. It helps me chill out."

It's okay to need help

Let your kids know that everyone needs support sometimes. Dr. Neha Sharma from Tufts Medical Center says:

"Keeping children in the dark about their parents' mental health struggles creates more distance between the parent and the child, and potentially can set a stage for the child to have their own mental health issues."

Make it a conversation

After sharing, ask your kids if they've felt similar. This opens the door for them to talk too.

Keep talking

Don't make it a one-time thing. Bring up mental health regularly, just like you'd talk about physical health.

5. Make mental health a normal topic

Kids often feel uneasy talking about their feelings. But you can change that by making mental health a regular part of family life.

Here's how to bring mental health into everyday conversations:

Chat during activities

Talk about feelings while doing fun stuff together. It makes the conversation feel natural and less intimidating for kids.

Play catch and share one good and one tough thing about your day
Bake cookies and discuss how different ingredients (like life events) affect the final product (our mood)
Color together and use different colors to represent emotions

Keep it simple

When talking about mental health, use clear, easy-to-understand words. Explain things like you would physical health issues.

For example: "Sometimes our brains can feel sick, just like our tummies. And that's okay - we can get help to feel better."

Share your own experiences

Let your kids know that everyone has ups and downs. Dr. Jennifer Vallin, a clinical psychologist, says:

"It's never too early to start talking about emotions and thoughts. The sooner you start, the more normal it becomes."

Make it routine

Set aside time each week to check in about thoughts and feelings. Dr. Ariana Hoet, a mental health expert, suggests:

"Normalizing comes with repetition. Keep the conversation going by touching base each week about their thoughts and feelings."

Use helpful tools

Hang up an emotion chart at home
Try kid-friendly mindfulness apps
Spend time outdoors - it's good for mental health

6. Welcome questions

Kids are curious. Their questions about mental health can spark important talks. Here's how to make your child comfortable asking:

Create a judgment-free zone

Tell your kid it's okay to ask anything about mental health:

"You can ask me anything about feelings or thoughts. No question is silly."

Use question prompts

Sometimes kids need a nudge. Try these:

"What do you think it means to feel sad/worried/angry?"
"Have you ever felt [emotion]? What was it like?"
"If you could ask a feelings doctor one thing, what would it be?"

Address misconceptions gently

Kids often have wrong ideas. Correct them kindly:

Child: "Only crazy people see therapists." You: "Actually, lots of people talk to therapists. It's like a doctor, but for your feelings."

Make it a two-way street

Ask your child questions too:

"What do you think causes people to feel anxious?"
"How can we help someone who's feeling down?"

Use real-life examples

Point out mental health topics in everyday life:

"Remember Inside Out? That movie shows how emotions work in our minds."

Provide age-appropriate answers

Keep it simple for young kids. Add details as they grow.

6-year-old: "Sometimes our brains feel sick, like our tummies." 12-year-old: "Mental health issues affect how we think, feel, and act. There are many types, like depression or anxiety."

Follow up on their questions

If you don't know, be honest:

"Great question. I'm not sure, but let's find out together."

Then, research with your child or ask a professional.

Praise their curiosity

When your child asks, show appreciation:

"I'm glad you asked. It's important to talk about our feelings."

7. Make Mental Health Talks Fun

Mental health chats don't need to be all serious. Here's how to make them engaging for kids:

Books That Spark Conversations

Reading together opens doors to discuss feelings. Try these:

"What's Up, Maloo?" by Geneviève Godbout: A kangaroo loses his hop, showing how friends help in tough times.

"The Rabbit Listened" by Cori Doerrfeld: Highlights the power of listening when someone's sad.

"Noni Is Nervous" by Heather Hartt-Sussman: Tackles anxiety in a kid-friendly way.

Games That Teach Emotions

Emotion Charades: Act out feelings without words.
Feelings Bingo: Match emotions to situations.
Empathy Jenga: Share feelings about scenarios on Jenga blocks.

Art That Expresses Feelings

1. Magical Worry Box

Kids write worries on paper and put them in a box. It's a simple way to separate from their concerns.

2. Mind Jar

Fill a jar with water and glitter. Shake it to show how strong feelings can settle down over time.

Breathing Tricks for Calm

Finger Breathing: Trace fingers while breathing in and out.
4-7-8 Method: Breathe in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8.

Gratitude Journal

Help kids jot down good things daily. It's a simple way to build a positive outlook.

8. Teach ways to handle stress

Kids get stressed too. Here's how to help them cope:

Deep breathing

When kids feel worried, teach them to breathe deeply:

Lie down or sit comfortably
Put one hand on your belly, the other on your chest
Breathe in slowly through your nose, feel your belly rise
Breathe out slowly through your mouth, feel your belly fall

"Coping skills give children a breather. It gives them a moment to slow things down, to say to themselves, 'I may be getting anxious. I should use my coping skills to calm things down.'" - Dr. Chase Anderson, UCSF

Get moving

Exercise helps body and mind. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services says kids 6-17 need 60 minutes of daily activity. Try:

Family walks
Playing outside
Fun workout videos

Use imagination

Guided imagery can help kids relax:

Find a quiet spot
Close your eyes
Think of a happy, calm place
Imagine what you see, hear, smell, and feel there

Write it out

Give your child a notebook to:

Write about their day
Draw pictures of their emotions
List things they're thankful for

Create a "chill corner"

Make a safe space at home with comfy pillows, stuffed animals, and coloring books. Kids can go there when they feel overwhelmed.

Try "worry boxes"

Help kids make a box for their worries:

Decorate a small box
Write or draw worries on paper
Put the worries in the box
Close the lid to "contain" the worries

This simple act can help kids separate from their concerns.

9. Know the signs of trouble

Parents need to spot mental health issues in kids early. Here's what to look for:

Behavior changes

Kids might suddenly:

Have mood swings
Pull away from friends and activities
Act aggressive or defiant
Struggle to focus or sit still

Emotional signs

Watch for:

Ongoing sadness or irritability
Too much worry or fear
Feeling extremely guilty or worthless

Physical symptoms

Look out for:

Lots of headaches or stomachaches
Changes in eating or sleeping
Self-harm or suicide talk

If these signs last for weeks, it's time to get help. As Dr. Lisa Damour, psychologist and author, puts it:

"Parents should trust their instincts. If something seems off with your child, it probably is."

When to get professional help

Consider expert help if your child shows:

Sign	Example
School issues	Grades drop, won't go to school
Social problems	Avoids friends, gets bullied
Disruptive behavior	Many tantrums, aggression
Substance use	Tries drugs or alcohol

Don't wait. The National Alliance on Mental Illness says 75% of mental illnesses show up before age 14. If you're worried, talk to your child's doctor or a mental health pro.

10. Keep talking as kids grow

Kids' understanding of mental health changes as they get older. So, it's important to keep talking about it. Here's how:

Set up regular check-ins

Create chances to talk about mental health often:

Ask about their day at dinner
Have a weekly "feelings chat"
Plan a monthly one-on-one outing

Adapt your approach

Change how you talk based on your child's age:

Age	How to Talk
5-8	Use simple words, focus on feelings
9-12	Introduce tougher ideas, talk about coping
13+	Discuss specific mental health issues, encourage self-reflection

Use conversation starters

Ask open-ended questions like:

"What was interesting today?"
"What was hard this week?"
"How do you feel about [something specific]?"

Listen more, talk less

Let your child express themselves. Jennifer Vallin, a clinical psychologist, says:

"Continue to reflect emotions through spoken and unspoken cues."

Watch for non-verbal signals and use them to start talks.

Normalize mental health talk

Make mental health a normal topic at home:

Share your own feelings and stress
Talk about mental health news
Name emotions and think of coping strategies together

Respect boundaries

As kids grow, they might want more privacy. Respect that, but keep the door open:

Let them know you're always there to talk
Don't push if they're not ready
Keep trying to connect, but be patient

Conclusion

Mental health talks with kids? They're not just helpful. They're a must. Here's why:

Mental health issues in kids have doubled since COVID-19 hit
Early chats help kids get their feelings and learn to cope
Open talks can save lives by lowering suicide rates and getting kids help

Want to make these talks work? Try this:

1. Make it safe

Use family time for mental health check-ins.

2. Really listen

Let your kid lead the chat. No judging.

3. Speak their language

Keep it age-appropriate. Change your approach as they grow.

4. Show, don't just tell

Share your own stress stories and how you deal.

5. Make it normal

Talk mental health often, not just when there's a problem.

These talks do more than you think. They help kids:

Get how their friends might feel
Speak up about their own mental health
See that getting help is okay

"Early mental health talks help kids figure out if what they're feeling is normal or not." - Matt Arnet, KVC Kansas

Remember: Your chats can change lives. Start talking.

FAQs

How do you explain depression and anxiety to a child?

Think about a time you felt really sad. For some people, that sadness sticks around for a long time. That's depression.

For anxiety, try this:

Everyone worries sometimes
It feels bad, but it won't hurt you
Anxious thoughts come and go
Sometimes it warns us about real dangers

Andrew Jatau, MS, LPC, Head of Clinical Programming at Hopscotch, says:

"It's all about putting in the time and effort to figure out how to explain it in a way that your child will understand."

How to explain what anxiety is to kids?

Here's a simple way to explain anxiety to kids:

What It Is	How It Feels	Remember This
Worry or fear	Butterflies in tummy	It's normal
Body's alarm	Fast heartbeat	Not dangerous
Reaction to new things	Sweaty hands	It will pass
Something we all feel	Shaky or dizzy	You can handle it